Although I think it would be rather cool to have a state named after me, the title of this post is referring to my psychological state. I have learned many things since I have graduated, and most of them suck. First, I have learned that no one really seems to care once you’ve graduated. Ah sure, those of you reading this that know me will say, “But Jessica, I care!” –Really? Do you really care?
When a person is in college, they are supposedly accomplishing something. Describing what this something is, is like Barack Obama trying to define “hope” –he almost gets there, but never quite delivers the verb. Once this mystic “something” is accomplished upon graduation, the accomplisher is now seen as just as miserable and dreamless as the rest of the world.
Thanks. That feels really wonderful.
Honestly, though, I don’t think that the actual “caring” aspect has lessened any, what is really happening is that friends and family members have nothing left to ask you about. Without, “What’s your major?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?” only two conversation starters exist with someone you don’t care to talk at length with –the weather, and work. Talking about the weather is the psychological equivalent of, “Do I know you?”, and talking about work just gets both parties depressed, so people usually stop talking to graduates. This, in turn, makes the graduate feel less cared for…even though the so-called “caring” was pretty empty to begin with.
The second thing I have learned is that no matter how much money I make, I won’t want to spend any of it. Although this might seem good for my bank account, it really sucks. Sure, I would like to have a new camera, so that I can go and take lots of pictures I can be proud of, and maybe, oh, I dunno, be happy, but when you can get laid off…it closes the pocketbook pretty fast.
This, of course, brings me to my next point…work. I knew work sucked before I graduated…but boy does it suck now. I have learned that no matter how much you like your job, a work environment is everything. This, I feel, is not stressed at all in college. It really would have been nice to know when it is acceptable to quit. I had no idea, “I’d like to offer you this position,” was code for, “I sense your optimism and would like to destroy it.”
As for this blog…my plan is to post one new poem a week, so if you’ve been wondering why they are all pretty crappy, there’s your answer. In my current state, I feel that writing crap is much better than not writing at all.
